What Transgender Therapists Know That Politicians Don’t: The Truth About Trans Youth and Mental Health
If you’re the parent of a transgender or questioning child, you’ve probably felt the fear and confusion that comes from hearing politicians, pundits, and even some doctors talk about trans youth. You may have heard claims that trans kids are “mentally ill,” that therapists are “pushing” them to transition, or that gender-affirming care is dangerous and experimental. As transgender therapists who have spent decades working with thousands of transgender youth and their families, we want to offer you something different: the truth, grounded in research, clinical experience, and the lived realities of trans people themselves.
What We See Every Day: Trans Kids Are Not Broken
Let us start with the most important thing we’ve learned after years of sitting with trans kids and their parents: transgender youth are not broken. They are not confused, delusional, or “infected” by some social contagion. They are kids and teens—sometimes shy, sometimes bold, sometimes anxious, and sometimes joyful. All they want what every young person wants: to be seen, understood, and loved for who they truly are.
Yes, transgender youth face real mental health challenges. The figures are concerning: nearly half of trans and nonbinary youth thought about suicide last year. Their rates of depression, anxiety, and self-harm are also much higher than those of cisgender youth. But these numbers are not because being trans is a mental illness. They are a direct result of living in a world that too often rejects, stigmatizes, and misunderstands them. This is called minority stress. People in marginalized groups experience ongoing stress from prejudice, discrimination, and being left out of society. Minority stress can take a toll on the mental health of trans youth.
So, Support, Acceptance, and Affirmation from Families and Communities are Vital.
It's crucial to understand that "gender dysphoria" appears in the DSM-5. Still, this doesn't mean being transgender is a mental illness. Gender dysphoria is the discomfort felt when a person's gender identity is not the same as the sex assigned to them at birth. The diagnosis isn't there to label trans people. It's meant to help them access supportive care, including medical transition if they choose. This is not the same as mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.
These disorders change mood, perception, or thinking, and they do not relate to a person's identity. The distress of gender dysphoria often reduces or goes away when trans youth get support for their identity. This is different from mental illnesses, which usually need ongoing treatment. It's important to see this difference: trans kids aren't "sick" for being trans. They simply want to live authentically, even when that’s challenging.
The Real Causes of Distress: Stigma, Rejection, and Isolation
When we meet with trans youth, the pain they share is almost never about being transgender. It’s about being bullied at school. It’s hearing classmates and teachers use anti-trans slurs. It’s worrying that parents may not love them. It’s also watching politicians debate their right to exist.
A 2022 study found that transgender youth are two to three times more likely than cisgender youth to experience depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and self-harm 56. The cause? Not their gender identity, but the rejection and discrimination they face every day.
As Laverne Cox, Emmy-nominated actress and trans advocate, has said:
“It is revolutionary for any trans person to choose to be seen and visible in a world that tells us we should not exist.”
Trans youth are not inherently at risk—they are made vulnerable by a society that too often refuses to see them.
What Therapy Really Looks Like for Trans Kids
You might imagine that trans-friendly or transgender therapists like us are “pushing” kids to be trans, or rushing them into medical interventions. The truth could not be further from that. Here’s what actually happens in our office:
Listening: The first and most important thing we do is listen. We listen to the child or teen, and we listen to you, their parents. Every story is unique.
Assessment: We talk about feelings, experiences, hopes, and fears. We assess for depression, anxiety, trauma, and other mental health concerns—just as we would for any young person.
Support: We help kids and families navigate school, friendships, and family relationships. We talk about coping skills, resilience, and self-care.
Exploration: For some, we explore questions about gender identity. For others, we focus on unrelated issues—because being trans is just one part of who they are.
At the core of our work are the ethical principles of counseling: do no harm, follow the client’s lead, and never impose our own agenda—values that apply to all clients, not just transgender youth. Transgender teen therapy is a collaborative process, and we are committed to respecting each young person’s pace and individual journey. Equally important is working with the family; understanding how parents feel about their teen’s identity and transition is central to the therapeutic process.
Supporting the Entire Family System Helps Everyone Find a Path Toward Peace, Connection, and Confidence
Regardless of whether a child ultimately identifies as trans, nonbinary, or cisgender. Medical interventions are never the first step, and every decision is made thoughtfully, grounded in the needs and well-being of the youth and their family.
"People have said, 'You're so great to accept her love.' What are you talking about? This is my daughter. This human has come to me and said, 'This is who I am.' And my job is to say, 'Welcome home.' I will fight and defend her right to exist to anyone who claims that she doesn't." It Gets Better Project —Jamie Lee Curtis, speaking about her transgender daughter Ruby
The Power of Affirmation: What the Research Shows
Here’s what politicians don’t tell you: when trans youth are affirmed—by their families, schools, and communities—their mental health improves dramatically. Multiple studies have shown that access to gender-affirming care (including social support, puberty blockers, and hormones when appropriate) is associated with:
Lower rates of depression and suicidality: Youth who get gender-affirming care have 60% lower chances of depression. They also have 73% lower chances of suicidality compared to those who don’t 27.
Improved well-being and self-esteem: Affirmed trans youth indicate they feel happier, have better relationships, and hold more hope for the future 7.
Lower long-term mental health risks: Early access to support leads to fewer suicidal thoughts and better overall results 7.
When kids are encouraged to be themselves without fear of judgment, they build trust. This creates space for open conversations in the family. If a young person chooses not to transition or wants to go back to their birth name or pronouns, it’s easier for them to share this with family and friends. The family has been supportive throughout. This makes children feel safe expressing any changes in their self-image. They know their choices will be respected. This approach reflects the core ethics of counseling: avoid harm, respect the client’s direction, and don’t push an agenda. It promotes resilience and creates true connections for the whole family.
As Jazz Jennings, a well-known trans advocate, has said:
“Being transgender has made me stronger. It’s given me the strength to be myself, to stand up for others, and to know that I can get through anything.”
The Risks of Denying Care: What Happens When We Don’t Affirm
The opposite is true as well. When trans youth do not get care, are rejected by family, or deal with anti-trans laws, their risk of mental health crises goes up. We’ve witnessed the heartbreak up close. Kids who were thriving can suddenly struggle with depression or self-harm after losing care and support.
The Trevor Project found that 86% of trans and nonbinary youth say anti-LGBTQ+ policies hurt their mental health. The It Gets Better Project has documented countless stories that illustrate this reality. Their video testimonials include young people like Jay Taylor, a graphic designer. Jay shares how support helped them find their authentic self and improve their mental health. These stories show a clear pattern. Youth who get supportive care and family backing report much better mental health. But those who face rejection or lose access to care often suffer from serious psychological distress.
The data indicates that 45 percent of trans youth have faced cyberbullying over the past year. Additionally, nearly one in three said they did not feel safe visiting the doctor. Counselors at The Trevor Project regularly hear from youth. Many say their mental health gets worse after their state passes tough laws or when they lose family support. Their "Moments of Joy" initiative shares uplifting stories. These stories show how affirming environments can literally save lives. Youth describe how just one supportive adult or access to gender-affirming care helped them when they were in crisis.
Research Confirms What We See in Our Office
States that have outlawed gender-affirming care for young people are seeing a sharp rise in suicide attempts and mental health crises. The Trevor Project's 2024 National Survey found that 41% of LGBTQ+ youth thought about suicide last year. Transgender youth faced even higher risks. The American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and all major medical groups in the U.S. agree that affirming care is safe and saves lives.
"At a certain point, the decision seemed to me I could have a dead son or a live daughter, and it's like, after you say that, what more is there to say? You can make all the arguments that you want … but the fact is, as a parent, as a human, you should listen to what people tell you about themselves." It Gets Better Project —A parent quoted by Cynthia Nixon, whose transgender son inspired her advocacy
What Parents Need to Know: You Are the Most Important Factor
If you’re reading this as a parent, know this: you are the single most important protective factor for your child’s mental health. Your love, support, and willingness to listen can make all the difference. Studies show that trans youth with affirming families are far less likely to experience depression, anxiety, or suicidality 78.
Chaz Bono, author and activist, once put it this way:
“The best thing you can do is just love your child. That’s it. Love them, support them, and let them know you’re there—no matter what.”
What About Regret? What About “Social Contagion”?
You may have heard politicians claim that kids are being “pushed” to be trans, or that there’s an epidemic of “regret.” In our decades of practice, we have seen thousands of trans youth. The number who have truly regretted their transition? A tiny handful—and in every case, the regret was about not being supported, not about the care itself.
The process of medical intervention is slow and careful. It includes many professionals and needs parental consent for minors. Most of our work is about helping families move at a pace that feels right for them—not rushing, not delaying, but listening and responding to the real needs of the child.
What About Mental Health Diagnoses? Are Trans Kids “Sicker”?
It is true that trans youth are diagnosed with mental health conditions at higher rates than their cisgender peers 56. But this is not because being trans is a mental illness. It’s because of the stress, bullying, and rejection they face. When we address these environmental factors—by affirming kids, supporting families, and creating safe schools—mental health improves.
As therapist and author Eli Erlick, a trans woman, has said:
“Trans kids don’t need to be ‘fixed.’ They need to be believed, supported, and given the space to become themselves.”
What We Want Every Parent to Know
You don't have to have all the answers. It's okay to feel scared or confused. The most important thing is to keep showing up for your child.
Ask for help when you need it. Finding a good mental health therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ youth can be one of the best investments you make in your family's wellbeing. A skilled transgender therapist can guide both you and your child through this journey, helping you learn effective communication strategies and providing tools to support your child's mental health.
Therapists aren't here to "convert" your child. We are here to listen, support, and help your family navigate whatever comes next.
Affirmation saves lives. The research is clear: when trans youth are affirmed, they thrive.
You are not alone. There are thousands of families, trans-friendly therapists, and trans adults who have walked this path and are ready to support you.
In Their Own Words: Trans Voices on Growing Up
Let’s end with a few more words from trans people who have grown up and are living full, joyful lives:
Jazz Jennings:
“I am proud to be me. I am proud to be transgender. And I am proud to be helping others accept themselves for who they are.”
Laverne Cox:
“We are not what other people say we are. We are who we know ourselves to be, and we are what we love.”
Chaz Bono:
“Transitioning was the best decision I ever made. I am finally comfortable in my own skin.”
Final Thoughts: Trust the Experts, Trust Your Child
Politicians may claim to know what's best for your child, but they don't sit with these kids every day. They don't see the courage it takes for a young person to say, "This is who I am." They don't see the relief, the joy, the blossoming that happens when families choose love over fear.
As transgender therapists, we can promise you: your child's well-being is our top priority. We move slowly, carefully, and always with your family's needs at the center. The truth is simple: trans kids can and do grow up to be happy, healthy adults—when we let them.
If you're worried, reach out. Ask questions. Lean on professionals who have dedicated their lives to this work. However, it's crucial to understand that most therapists lack specialized training in working with trans individuals and their families. Many well-meaning mental health professionals simply don't have the knowledge or experience needed to provide truly affirming, competent care. This is why finding a specialist who understands the unique needs of trans youth and their families is essential—not just any therapist will do. Look for providers who have specific training in gender-affirming care and extensive experience with LGBTQ+ families.
And above all, keep loving your child. That's what matters most.
If you or your child need support, reach out to Arrive Therapy. You are not alone, and help is always available.
Want to Know the Truth About Transgender Teen Therapy in Paoli, PA?
When politicians and media stir up fear, it’s hard to know what’s real—and what truly helps your child. At Arrive Therapy, we offer transgender teen therapy in Paoli & throughout Pennsylvania rooted in clinical experience, research, and a deep understanding of what trans youth and their families actually need.
We’ve worked with thousands of families navigating this journey—carefully, thoughtfully, and always at your child’s pace. Therapy isn’t about pushing any agenda; it’s about creating space for your teen to feel safe, explore openly, and be supported by people who truly get it. It’s also about helping you as a parent sort through fear, misinformation, and the enormous responsibility of showing up for your child. You don’t have to do this alone. Here’s how to get started:
Meet with an LGBTQ-identified, trans-friendly therapist who understands
Begin a process grounded in trust, expertise, and family-centered support
Explore More Therapy Services at Arrive Therapy
Every family’s path through gender identity, mental health, and misinformation is different—and you don’t have to navigate it alone. At Arrive Therapy, we offer a range of services built on truth, clinical expertise, and deep care for the lived experiences of trans youth and their families. Whether you're seeking transgender teen therapy, gender therapy, counseling for gay men, LGBTQIA+ support groups, teen gender therapy, general mental health care, or guidance with surgery letters, our team is here to support you.
We don’t believe in one-size-fits-all answers or rushed decisions. We believe in ethical, individualized care. We believe in helping families slow down, tune in, and respond to what’s really happening—not what fear or politics tells them to see. And we believe that when therapy is done right—with honesty, humility, and compassion—it can change lives. No matter where you are in this process, you and your child deserve support that’s informed, grounded, and deeply human.