When Educators Are Falsely Labeled “Groomers”
Guest Blogger: Mx. Jacob Kelley M.Ed., ABD Ph.D.
Facilitator for Arrive Therapy
CEO & Founder of Mx. Kelley Queer Education LLC.
History, Harm, and How to Respond Professionally
I was recently asked during a training what someone can someone do if they are being called a “groomer” because they are supporting LGBTQIA+ students. Let's start with the understanding that there has long been a stigma against LGBTQIA+ people in schools, especially when LGBTQIA+ professionals support students or share their lived experiences involving youth. This stigma is not new. Deeply ingrained internal biases have followed LGBTQIA+ communities for decades.
Historically, LGBTQIA+ identities have been falsely tied to mental illness, controversy, promiscuity, or being inherently sexualized. These claims are not factual. They result from American history and systemic discrimination, which shaped how LGBTQIA+ people were portrayed, regulated, and excluded.
A Brief Historical Context
Understanding where today’s rhetoric comes from requires acknowledging key moments in U.S. history:
The Lavender Scare (1950s): LGBTQIA+ people were labeled as immoral and dangerous, leading to mass firings from government and educational positions.
The DSM Change (1973): Homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, ending its classification as a mental illness.
The HIV/AIDS Epidemic (1980s): LGBTQIA+ communities were stigmatized and blamed, while government response and support were dangerously delayed.
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (1994): LGBTQIA+ service members were forced to hide their identities to remain in the military. Still impacting our Trans services members under the current executive orders.
The Past 25 Years: Public discourse has shifted toward marriage equality, employment protections, inclusive benefits, gender-affirming healthcare, and increased awareness of suicide risk among LGBTQIA+ youth.
LGBTQIA+ history is long, complex, and inseparable from the broader American story. As educators and professionals advocate for inclusive best practices and student well-being in their school district, they also face backlash, particularly at the community level.
The Rise of the “Groomer” Accusation
One of the most harmful forms of backlash today is the misuse of the term “groomer.” This label is increasingly directed at educators, counselors, and school staff who support LGBTQIA+ students or who are LGBTQIA+ themselves.
The term “groomer” is not a neutral insult. It is a predatory accusation closely tied to child sexual abuse, pedophilia, and the exploitation of minors. These are serious allegations. Falsely using this term is not only defamatory, but it also lessens the severity of real harm suffered by survivors and weakens legitimate child protection work.
When educators are falsely labeled as groomers, the impact can be severe:
Damage to professional reputation
Loss of employment or contracts
Financial instability
Social isolation
Emotional and psychological harm
These accusations often arise not from evidence but from stigma and bias toward LGBTQIA+ people and those who advocate for inclusive education.
What Educators and Professionals Can Do
When facing a false accusation, respond calmly. Stay professional and strategic.
1. Document Everything
Take screenshots of posts, comments, or messages.
Capture usernames, profile information, dates, times, and URLs
Save copies securely and do not alter them.
2. Identify the Source
Knowing who made the statement matters. Document:
The individual’s name or profile
Any affiliated organization or employer
The platform where the statement was made
3. Issue a Clear, Professional Response
Often, a direct message is sufficient. A response may include:
A clear denial of the allegation
A statement that the claim is false and unsupported
A request that the content be removed and not repeated
Example language:
“This is a false and harmful accusation. There is no evidence to support it. I request that this comment be removed and that no further false statements be made.”
4. Reference Applicable Law (Without Giving Legal Advice)
In Pennsylvania, false statements presented as fact that harm a person’s reputation fall under defamation law. The burden of proof is outlined in 42 Pa.C.S. § 8343.
Educators and school professionals are also mandated reporters under 23 Pa.C.S. § 6311, reinforcing their legal obligation to protect children, not harm them.
5. Disengage After Notice
Once a clear request is made:
Do not argue publicly.
Do not respond emotionally
Monitor for compliance
Retain documentation if behavior continues
If the conduct persists, individuals may take the next steps. They can report through institutions, platform moderation, or consult legal counsel.
Why These Cases Matter
In recent years, educators and school professionals across the country have faced false accusations of being “groomers” simply for supporting LGBTQIA+ students or using inclusive practices. These claims are not harmless rhetoric; they have led to documented legal action, reputational harm, and serious personal consequences.
Several educators have pursued lawsuits after being publicly labeled as groomers without evidence. These include Mardy Burleson, who was sued for including a pronoun question on a class survey; Tami Staas, who was targeted by a coordinated online campaign; River Chunnui, who reached a settlement after public accusations by school officials; and Amanda Jones, who filed federal defamation lawsuits after repeated online attacks.
Courts have also intervened when harassment escalated, including granting protective orders for school staff and challenging policies that endangered LGBTQIA+ students. Together, these cases show that the term “groomer” is increasingly used as a weapon rooted in stigma, not safeguarding.
False accusations do not protect children. They undermine real child-protection efforts, harm educators, and weaken trust in school systems. Standing on one’s ground professionally helps preserve the integrity of safeguarding processes and ensures that serious allegations are treated with the care and evidence they require.
Why Standing Your Ground Matters
I began experiencing these moments of false accusation in 2023. The first instance occurred during virtual educational programming for military-affiliated audiences, where anonymous comments labeled me a “groomer” during the session. I addressed the harm and inappropriateness to the Chief of Staff. In the following year, similar accusations appeared on both my drag persona account and my professional business account. None of these allegations was true. They were made by anonymous or blank profiles, often by individuals engaging in online harassment or trolling rather than by anyone with a legitimate concern for student safety.
As a mandated reporter, I am required to complete regular clearances and background checks and to comply with strict professional and ethical standards. Teaching about LGBTQIA+ topics, supporting LGBTQIA+ students, or being an LGBTQIA+ educator has no connection to grooming, abuse, or harm. Conflating identity or inclusive education with predatory behavior is inaccurate, dangerous, and rooted in stigma rather than fact.
When these accusations occurred, I was repeatedly asked how I could be better prepared to respond if it happened again. That question matters because false allegations do real harm not only to individuals but to educational systems as a whole.
Initially, I deleted the comments and chose not to engage. Over time, I realized that remaining silent does not protect educators, students, or institutions. Standing one’s ground professionally and responsibly matters because when genuine cases of harm arise, we need clear language, trusted systems, and institutional credibility to address them appropriately. Allowing false accusations to go unchallenged weakens those systems and blurs the line between legitimate safeguarding and harassment.
Across the United States, there are many documented cases in which educators and school professionals have faced reputational damage, employment consequences, and prolonged investigations due to unfounded accusations tied to moral panic rather than evidence.
In several instances, teachers and school staff were publicly accused of grooming or inappropriate behavior based solely on curriculum content, advocacy for LGBTQIA+ students, or online misinformation, only for those claims to later be found baseless or unsupported. Even when cleared, the personal and professional damage often remained.
Calling someone a groomer without evidence is not advocacy. It does not protect children. It is harmful, irresponsible, and rooted in stigma not safeguarding. When educators stand firm, document incidents, and respond professionally, they help preserve the integrity of child-protection processes while also protecting inclusive, ethical education.
This blog does not provide legal advice. It is intended to offer practical, responsible guidance for educators and school professionals navigating a challenging climate while continuing to support all students.
Protecting yourself is not a distraction from student safety; it is part of sustaining ethical, inclusive education.
Mx. Jacob Kelley M.Ed., ABD Ph.D.
Facilitator for Arrive Therapy
CEO & Founder of Mx. Kelley Queer Education LLC.