From Therapy Hurdles to Community Support—Navigating the Early Days of Transition
Binary to Binary: A Gender Transition Roadmap
by Susanna Blake, Part 2
Click here to read Part 1.
Immediately After Disclosure to Mother at Age 23
Now what?! The next day I headed off to a medical library open to the public in a local hospital. The medical librarian printed three of the most recent studies about transgender people from scientific publication subscriptions paid for by the hospital. I did not learn much of practical use from these studies, but at least I had a place to begin. I later made copies for her first therapist who had advertised experience with gender-diverse patients but had never treated a transgender person with gender dysphoria.
It turned out that this therapist was the first of seven (!) therapists Caroline saw in order to jump through all of the hoops of getting to her goal of full transition. I won’t bother to go into the reasons why she ended up seeing so many therapists over a period of four years. Suffice it to say that she felt she did not need to see a therapist… she had spent ten years figuring this out and I might reiterate here that she is intellectually gifted. She was required to see these therapists as prerequisites for treatment from a few professionals and for various legal processes covered later.
Later on, the first therapist that I found who had a specialty of working with trans people was not in Caroline’s employer’s insurance network. At that time I made an unsuccessful appeal for a WPATH-knowledgeable therapist outside of her insurance network. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) establishes medical Standards of Care. Caroline did see that therapist a few times but found that she was pushing back on a decision that Caroline had already made to transition.
The very best therapist we encountered was fully WPATH trained. She gave the most practical advice and wrote, by far, the most impactful letter that Caroline used to justify medical procedures. No surprise that she “knew her stuff” as she was transgender herself.
Finding Books and Representation
During that first week, I searched Barnes and Noble online and only came across a couple of conservative books suggesting conversion therapy. I found no books about or supportive of the trans population. Eventually I read just a few books on the subject, including Jennifer Finney Boylan’s She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders. By the time I received more recommendations I was already well equipped to guide Caroline through her journey and was living the transition experience vicariously through my daughter.
Part 3: Finding Mentors and Mapping a Path—Lessons from the Philadelphia Trans Wellness Conference
Looking for support as you navigate your trans child’s journey? We’re here for you. Reach out today to get started with a counselor.