After the Transition—Reflections, Recovery, and Continuing the Journey
Home in Pennsylvania
In between the August and December surgeries, I arranged a fall semester of free voice lessons after researching three providers who all specialized in helping transgender people, especially trans women. Estradiol does not help raise your voice.
Surgery, Setbacks, and Strength—A Mother’s Role in Gender-Affirming Care
Surgeries in Arizona
We stayed in an Airbnb townhouse close to the surgeon’s office, surgical center, and local hospital. As planned, we had a rental car for 10 days and used an Uber from then on. Since I was not working and Caroline had recently attended her second college graduation, we were able to stay in town for all follow-up visits with the surgeon.
Fighting for Coverage—Navigating Insurance for Gender-Affirming Surgery
Medical Insurance
Part of trans advocacy for Caroline was pinning down her medical insurance coverage. I had to challenge her employer to reveal transgender surgeries covered by her policy (contract) by arranging a meeting with In-House Counsel and the Head of Benefits.
Navigating the Legal System—Name and Gender Marker Changes Without a Lawyer
Legal Gender and Name Change
I can’t tell you how lucky I was to have the mentor I met at my first PTWC. She happened to live in the same county in Pennsylvania as Caroline. She took the time to write a seven-page document on how to save tons of money by not hiring an attorney to file the required paperwork for a legal name change at the County Court of Common Pleas.
From Hormones to Coming Out—The First Steps of Medical and Social Transition
Physical and Social Transition Begins
One of the most difficult and frustrating tasks in 2017–18 was finding an endocrinologist who was willing to help Caroline with her 15-month pre-surgical hormone treatment following her decision not to save sperm. I searched her insurance network and called group practices of endocrinologists, one after another, and was told that not only did they not have anyone trained in transgender care, they had no one interested in coming up to speed to do so.
Finding Mentors and Mapping a Path—Lessons from the Philadelphia Trans Wellness Conference
Making Progress
The best advice we received from a therapist was to attend the annual Philadelphia Transgender Wellness Conference (PTWC). I attended all three days for three years in a row.
From Therapy Hurdles to Community Support—Navigating the Early Days of Transition
Immediately After Disclosure to Mother at Age 23
Now what?! The next day I headed off to a medical library open to the public in a local hospital. The medical librarian printed three of the most recent studies about transgender people from scientific publication subscriptions paid for by the hospital.
“Mom, I’m a Girl”—A Mother’s First Steps Toward Supporting Her Trans Daughter
“Mom, I’m a girl.”
One day, at the age of 23, my daughter sat me down and simply said: “Mom, I’m a girl.” Within a fraction of a second I replied: “Oh, what do we need to do about that?” She knew enough about the subject to say she needed to start by seeing a therapist.
How to Support Your Trans Child, Part 20: Forgive Yourself
Supporting a transgender child is a journey full of emotions, learning, and growth. As a parent, it's important to recognize that you won't always get everything right. It's easy to feel overwhelmed or worry that you've made mistakes along the way, but a critical part of this journey is learning to forgive yourself. Prioritizing mental health support for both you and your child is key in navigating this process, and seeking out trans-inclusive counseling can offer the professional guidance you both need.
How to Support Your Trans Child, Part 19: Ask Before Acting
As the family of a trans kid, one of the most important principles you can embrace is respect for your child’s autonomy. Transitioning, or exploring one’s gender identity, is deeply personal, and every step of the journey should center on your child’s comfort and choices. Parental support for trans kids is not just about offering love and encouragement, but also about recognizing and honoring their right to make decisions about their identity and how it is shared with others.
How to Support Your Trans Child, Part 18: Become an Ally
One of the most impactful ways to support your transgender child is to learn how to be an ally. As your child grows and faces challenges unique to the transgender community, your role as an advocate becomes even more important. Being an ally isn’t just about accepting your child’s identity—it’s about actively standing up for them and creating a world where they can thrive.
How to Support Your Trans Child, Part 17: Prioritize Mental Health (Yours and Theirs)
When supporting your transgender child, prioritizing LGBTQ+ mental health is essential for both your child’s well-being and your own. Mental health plays a critical role in navigating the challenges and emotions that come with their transition, and as a parent, you have the opportunity to foster a nurturing and supportive environment. This means focusing on not just your child’s mental health, but also your own, as you both face different, yet equally important, emotional journeys.
How to Support Your Trans Child, Part 16: Check In Regularly
Parenting a transgender child comes with unique challenges and responsibilities. One of the most crucial aspects of how to parent a trans child is to maintain open, ongoing communication. Whether your child came out years ago or more recently, it’s important to check in regularly with them about their well-being, feelings, and evolving needs. These regular conversations not only show your love and support but also create a safe space where your child feels heard and valued.
Contact us
We do not take insurance.
However, if you require financial assistance. we have options for you. First, not all of our therapists cost the same. Check the Team page for details. In addition, you can submit your expenses to insurance to get a portion of your fee refunded. Click below for a quick guide: