How to Support Your Trans Child, Part 7: Apologize When You Make a Mistake
Supporting your trans child involves ongoing learning, and mistakes are a natural part of this journey. Sometimes, despite your best intentions, you may say or do things that unintentionally hurt your child’s feelings. It’s important to remember that this is okay—you can learn from these experiences and grow. What truly matters is how you handle those mistakes, as this can significantly impact your child’s sense of being seen and validated.
Emphasizing Gender Identity Validation
A key aspect of gender identity validation is acknowledging when you’ve made a mistake and offering a sincere apology. This isn’t just about saying “I’m sorry.” It’s about recognizing the impact your actions have had on your child’s emotions and showing that you genuinely care about their feelings. By doing this, you reinforce that their identity is valid and that you are committed to LGBTQ affirming practices in your family.
When you apologize, it shows your child that you respect their identity and their right to be treated with dignity. It also highlights your willingness to grow alongside them, which can greatly enhance your relationship. Apologies in this context should not only express regret but also emphasize a desire to do better.
For example, if you accidentally misgender your child or use the wrong name, an apology such as, “I’m sorry I didn’t use your correct name, and I will do my best to remember moving forward,” can make a significant difference. This type of acknowledgment reinforces your commitment to gender identity validation by making it clear that you take your child’s identity seriously.
How to Become More LGBTQ Affirming
Being LGBTQ affirming doesn’t just mean supporting your child in moments of success—it also means standing by them in moments of difficulty, including when you make mistakes. In doing so, you model humility and a willingness to learn, which are key qualities in creating a truly inclusive and loving environment. Your actions will demonstrate to your child that no one is expected to be perfect, but that commitment to growth and understanding is what counts.
Apologizing when you’ve made a mistake also helps to foster open communication. It shows your child that it’s okay to talk about difficult feelings and that their emotions will be respected and addressed. This is a crucial part of creating a home environment that prioritizes gender identity validation and is genuinely LGBTQ affirming. By creating this safe, open space, you allow your child to feel more secure in expressing their true self, knowing that you are there to support them every step of the way.
Mistakes Will Happen — What’s Next?
At the end of the day, making a mistake is not what will harm your relationship with your child—it’s how you respond to those mistakes that matters most. By taking responsibility, apologizing, and making efforts to improve, you show your child that you are on their side, reinforcing the trust and love they need as they navigate their gender journey.
Through this process, you contribute to creating a home environment where gender identity validation and LGBTQ affirming principles are central. This allows your child to feel truly seen, respected, and loved for who they are, helping them grow with confidence and resilience.
For more ways to support your trans child, check out our blog, Parental Support for Trans Kids: 20 Ways to Support Your Trans Child, or get in touch with a gender therapist today.